In today's fast paced, rock'n'roll world of high finance and big business, it's easy to forget that at one time bankers, stock brokers, and corporate officers were thought to be the stodgy "grey-men" of the modern industrial age. For the most part, they still are. But the boring, yet necessary drones of the investment world are being outshined by their rakish bad boy counter parts. And all of those boring, money making corporations are being passed over in the media, so that we can focus more clearly on those other companies -- those dashing rogues on their way to the bankruptcy hearings.

When you think of white trash, which low-rent, budget minded, half department store - half grocery store jumps immediately to mind? Wal-Mart, of course. But there was a time when that answer would have been K-Mart. A company so boring and middle of the road that we had even forgotten to make jokes at their expense, until we were reminded of their existence by the news that they were about to declare bankruptcy. Then again, no one was really surprised (or even all that sad) when K-Mart filed. Expectations for the company were so low, and they were so completely blotted out by Wal-Mart's rising star, that the public's response was similar to their response when told of Don Amiche's death ("What do you mean he died? Hasn't he been dead for years?").

The real blow came from the spectacular explosion of a once-sexy Wall Street Journal pin-up -- Enron. A company that we were told was a harbinger of the future of business. Given the recent events with Worldcom (and that whole Martha Stewart thing), those pundits might turn out to be right. Of course, the recent spate of bankruptcies and stock price collapses of four or five major companies isn't necessarily the end of the world. Businesses lose money and fail all the time, albeit not quite as spectacularlly as Global Crossing. But the fact that all of these bankruptcies were tied to deceptive accounting practices has shaken up Wall Street traders.

It should be noted that consumer confidence still seems pretty stable. But consumers are poor people, and therefore less important. But these recent developments effect both rich people's play money, and middle class people's retirement money equally. It's a no win situation for our best and brightest.

The confidence problem stems from the fact that investors seem to believe that if a few bad apples are mis- reporting earnings and losses, then others must be too. Whether or not this is the case remains to be seen, but if we are facing a worst-case senario here, it could be the worst financial crisis since... oh I don't know -- the tech stock melt-down. Having two major market disasters within two years of each other is a little much to ask the American people to put up with. Imagine how long the dot-com boom would have lasted if we threw some of those "deceptive accounting practices" in there. Perhaps the failure of web companies was not that they failed to make any money, but that they were just too damn honest.

In any case, it's not too late for the executives of Worldcom to start riding Harley's to work, clad in leather from head to foot. I think America's ready to see corporate raiders shed there grim, professional attire and put on something that better matches their criminal nature. Ironically, they might even avoid prison that way. After all, America loves a bad-ass.

-B. C. Silvia