Like a lot of people, I do my traveling vicariously. I've become one of those annoying folks who aren't suitably impressed when someone tells me their travel stories. Tell me that you just recently got back from Italy and I'll probably respond by saying something like, "Oh that sounds nice. I've always wanted to watch television there". Traveling to Europe wouldn't really scratch any itches that I have.

Perhaps the thing that puts me off most about hearing about other people's vacations is best summed up in the phrase that's often uttered at the end of most travel monologues: Travel really broadens you. Yeah. While, like most good Americans I might believe that money can make you a better person than me, I find it difficult to buy into the idea that simply going on a walking tour of Paris can make someone a more virtuous individual. How many people do you really meet on these trips anyway? Most of the stories I hear usually involve someone mentioning that they came across another American couple who were just lovely. Unless you speak their language (or they speak yours) most of the natives you're likely to meet are there to serve your food or turn down your bed. All the rest... well, let's just say that one person's new friend from Barcelona is someone else's tedious cousin (who, no doubt spends far too much time with wealthy looking American tourists).

Of course, not all travel experiences are so lionized; after all, the Beats were probably the last people to place any value in the good old American road trip. Cheese and wine types aren't interested in hearing about any visits you might have paid to the contiguous 48 (unless you went to Napa). Tony New Englanders for example, couldn't care less about the week you spent in the Hamptons; to them it's like the bathroom. Simply everyone has to go there at some point.

Why shouldn't people get credit for bouncing around the United States though? After all, America was originally intended to be an alliance of sovereign nations, not one giant country. Every state has it's own constitution, it's own government -- each one would be quite capable of existing on it's own. You might have once heard a civics teacher remark that our national constitution is a relatively short little document. That's because it only outlines the basic structure of the national government, and includes a few provisions regarding the behavior of its member states. But, before television, there was very little impetus to create a homogeneous culture amongst the states. Which is why one can still be shocked by traveling to another place that is quite easily accessible by car or train.

Even traveling within certain states can cause quite a bit of culture shock. Being from Northern California myself, I was constantly surprised when I wound up in Southern california on business. If you don't know very much about it, L.A. can be unpleasant and confusing, because unfortunately, Americans traveling in America are expected to already know the rules of the places they visit. Each community sees itself as eminately American, not necessarily unique (read: bad) when compared to the rest of the nation. Los Angeles is one of the few places that one can feel like the ugly American in one's own country. But that's a good thing: I'm in favor of that quintessential traveling experience, alienation. After all, that's the feeling that most people are after when they travel.

All I'm saying is, give America a chance. There's no need to jet off to Europe to have a disturbing experience to keep with you for the rest of you life -- unless you're just trying to impress people. You aren't, are you? Because that would be so gauche.

-B. C. Silvia