Most travel guides are intended for wealthy, middle-aged yuppies who are willing to throw money away on slightly less touristy tourist traps, known only to 91% of professional travel agents. Here is a guide for a younger generation.

Look at you: You're young, you're hip -- and even though people often accuse you of being "relentlessly negative", you think of yourself as having a great sense of humor. For many of you the coming summer is a sign that very soon, you'll have to make the most important decision of your lives: Where to go on vacation. Well, wonder no more. Why not take your ironic observations and maniacal superiority complex on the road? We here at Sloganeering can help you.

There are a few places, right here in America, that no urban hipster should miss. Ok, they're not "fun" in the traditional Disneyland/Las Vegas sense, but they will make you seem to be a better person amongst your peers (the same reason that your parents decided to go to Europe and accidentally conceive you, sporto). For your travel pleasure, here we present, "Post Modern Meccas"!

1. A Gun Show:You might think that the fun of going to a gun show resides solely in laughing up your sleeve at all the rednecks and their conspiracy theories, but there's all kinds of cool stuff going on in these places. Sure, it's hysterical to think that these people might actually believe that they could stop the government from encroaching on their property, no matter how well armed they are, but if you look beyond that you just might realize that this is likely the best place to get a good recipe for Venison sausage. Also, if you're a fan of classic rock, you can get your groove on a little bit as you walk from stall to terrifying stall. Just try not to burst out laughing when you overhear a vendor telling someone that he can get a hold of "custom" ammunition (wink-wink). And if you are a fan of free pamphlets, well, that's worth the price of admission alone!

2. New York/L.A.: I used to believe that foreigners who accused America of having no class had a point. But now I'm not so sure; after all, one of the signs of class is snobbery. Of course, in America, we have plenty of that. But if you're from Los Angeles or New York, the art of looking down one's nose takes on a regional flare. If you are from L.A., I highly recommend visiting New York (or vice versa, of course), and I hope you have a miserable time. Really! Because it would be the most boring thing in the world if you were to come back to your pretentious, back-biting friends with anecdotes about how, "It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be." No, if you want to be considered a well rounded hipster, your trip to the opposite coast must confirm your prejudices. Then, hating the other side of the country is no longer a knee-jerk reaction to the enemies' claim of superiority, it's a considered opinion based on personal experience. 3. Graceland: This falls under the category of "Appreciating Kitsch". The fact is, you're already wearing a second-hand mechanic's shirt, and you enjoy John Waters' films, so why not kick yourself into crap-culture overdrive? Get your Volvo station wagon to Tennessee, and indulge in the remains of the master of indulgence. If you weren't the kind of person who appreciated genuine talent, you wouldn't go to all those local rock shows, would you? Show that you can appreciate all of the good things that Elvis gave us -- no, not the music, the lifestyle/cautionary tale that will forever be completely irrelevant to you (after all, you'll never have the opportunity to live that kind of life).

-B. C. Silvia