First, it was Minnesota; California might be next. It’s the latest fad to sweep the nation: Joke governors. Should we be surprised? A majority of potential voters feel completely disenfranchised by the political system, so it’s no wonder that given an opportunity, why shouldn’t they reach for the absurd?

Conventional wisdom suggests that politics and celebrity don’t mix – just ask Jane Fonda; or Jeanne Garafalo; or the Dixie Chicks. But if you take a look at that far from exhaustive list of names, a pattern emerges. Yes, they’re all women but, more importantly, they are all “liberals.” (Ok, maybe Garafalo and Jane Fonda are; but anyone who criticizes the president, regardless of whether or not they come from Texas is asking for a heap of right-wing trouble.)

Apparently the only politics that doesn’t mix with fame is left-wing politics. But, on the whole, being a famous conservative male is a positive boon. Gofer, Sonny Bono, and Jack Kemp made it work for them. No doubt, Arnie will make it work for himself as well.

It’s safe to say that most Californians think the idea of Arnold Schwarzenegger running for governor is at least good for a laugh. Few would ever entertain the notion that he might win, however. There are all kinds of reasons, in fact, for him to lose. For example: the ballot is probably going to be chock full of recognizable names, which might dilute his support. How many people would be willing to throw someone with no political experience into the worst recession and budget crisis the state has ever faced? And just who in their right minds would elect a man to the most powerful position in state governance who agreed to appear in Terminator 3?

He might not get elected for any of those reasons; he certainly appears to have the deck stacked against him. Actually, Arnie’s political ambitions might not be so far fetched after all.

Sure, there might be a lot of people on the ballot, but how many will there really be? As we go to press only 35 candidates have paid the fees and gotten the required signatures; in some counties, there are more candidates for Alderman than that. And the only people who seriously believe that we’ll end up with two hundred candidates (another number being mooted about as we go to press) are Gray Davis supporters, trying to scare people out of voting for the recall. Sure, Schwarzenegger might have no trouble blowing away hundreds of opponents single-handedly on the big screen, but he probably wouldn’t be able to take enough votes from them to win an election. However, if we only end up with 35 or 40 candidates – well then, a man of his stature shouldn’t have too much trouble, even if we’re talking about real life here.

As far as gambling on a man with no prior political experience – it’s not a problem. While we haven’t quite given up on the pretense of democracy yet, few people trust our political system. Even George W. Bush, former governor of Texas, son of a former president and career politician, brother of the governor of Florida, and running with Dick Cheny, (a man who’s spent more time in Washington D.C. than most sane people ever should) tried to portray himself as a “political outsider.” As it turns out, the last thing American voters want is a politician running for political office. Arnold’s utter lack of experience might be his greatest asset.

As for Terminator 3, it shouldn’t be a problem. Hell, the man shrugged off End of Days, didn’t he?

Above all, Arnold’s greatest asset is the fact that a lot of people don’t see how we could be any worse off than we are right now. Why not vote for a celebrity? It might make an agreeable change to the dreary nightly news we’re faced with otherwise.

The media knows this, and that’s why Schwarzenegger’s largest base of support will come from them. Every single journalist from Eureka to San Diego will be sure to hit the polls and cast their vote for him. Hey, they’ve got their own job security to worry about after all.

What would life under Arnie’s charismatic iron fist be like? If previous experience is any guide, not much different than it is now. Jesse Ventura was elected governor of Minnesota with out much real hubbub, so California’s not likely to wind up with its homeowners sitting around on their porches, shotguns at the ready (Minnesota was like that before Ventura). And at this point, our economy is going to be lousy no matter who the governor is.

All in all, there are worse fates for a state. If the Schwarzenegger administration goes badly, well we’re used to that. And so what if other states laugh at us? They already do that anyway.

And if worse comes to worse – well, we’ll just dust ourselves off, and recall the bastard. Or, maybe, we’ll learn it’s not a good idea to hit that panic button ever again.

-B. C. Silvia