One of the many pleasures that an election year brings is the sight of
politically active celebrities
hitting the road in an effort to create a vague something or other known
as, "awareness". Whether on TV, on tour, or just stopping by the occasional
fund-raiser, these socially-aware celebs crowd the airwaves to such an extent
that they actually manage to temporarily blot out the good-works of the original
rock 'n roll Jesus.
But we all know such celebrity boosterism is futile, don't we? A quick look at
the right-wing media machine reveals a good deal of
whining and crying about Hollywood's
cadre of liberal
girly-men, much
of which focuses on how
little influence famous people actually have on the electorate. (Not that
they're
jealous,
you understand....) Even a few celebrities themselves are aware of the
futility of their
efforts.
So, it seems like the question is settled, doesn't it? Celebrities, for whatever
reason, feel it necessary to voice their opinions, even though they have very
little effect. Politicians know it, pundits know it, and we, the people, know it.
Everybody knows it. We can all go home now.
Oh, wait;
somebody's still not getting it. How else can we explain the fact that Yusuf
Islam (nee Cat Stevens) found himself making an unexpected U-turn from Bangor,
courtesy of our own Homeland Security department? Increased al-Qaeda chatter
about the imminent beginning of "Operation: Peace Train"? Perhaps the folks at
Homeland Security just
hate muslims. Or, maybe, it has something to do with the fact that the American
intelligence community has always kept an eye on left-leaning celebrities. A
cursory look at the FBI archives reveals that such tactics are
standard operating procedure.
If they happen to be foreign-born, so much the better. This isn't the first time
that our own spy agencies have tried to deport a
popular singer.
(It also seems that, as far a pop music is concerned, the American intelligence
community is quite firmly
stuck in the 60's.)
That's not to say that plenty of American stars found themselves under the rheumy
eye of star-struck G-men, just because they leaned a little towards the left.
Ok, so
Frank Sinatra
might have had mob ties (
I don't believe that for a second – honestly!
-- ed), and
Lucille Ball might have been a communist, but c'mon!
Charlie Chaplin?
There are several arguments one could make to support the deportation of Mr.
Islam, but frankly, they don't stand up. He's been accused of donating money to
charities that maybe funnel money to terrorist organizations. But, by that logic
we've got
bigger fish to fry. In any case, he's quite capable of raising money in his
homeland of Great Britain. Perhaps Yusuf Islam is some kind of terrorist mastermind –
but it's unlikely; while his mellow folk-stylings are formidable, he has not
displayed much flair for urban combat strategy. (Never mind the fact that the
lyrics to "
Oh Very
Young" are pretty disturbing, given the state of the world we live in right
now. And let's not even talk about, "
I'm Gonna Get Me a Gun.)
Given the fact that all of the alternative theories are even
more
ridiculous, we must return to the notion that Cat Stevens was deported for the
slightly more plausible reason that he might exert some sort of
influence
on the American people. An influence that nobody but the Department of Homeland
Security believes even exists. The real tragedy here is not that some folk-singer
found himself being shipped back to England; it's that the people charged with
defending our home-turf are wasting their time and man-power doing it. Instead
of worrying about a popular insurrection led by dirty peace-niks and pop-singers,
maybe we should be doing something to catch that
anthrax guy. Wasting resources on subversive musicians, drug perverts, and
filthy song lyrics went the
way of Free Love; into the toilet of history. Get with the program, Homeland
Security.
Still, one gets the impression that such unselfconsciously backwards actions
like this would make ol'
J.
Edgar Hoover himself a very proud man.
-B. C. Silvia
-9/25/2004
