Television viewers in certain markets have been treated to a pleasant little commercial asking them to support a Constitutional amendment that would allow foreign born citizens of the United States to become President. Of course, the people behind the ad have somebody in particular in mind; they are called, Amend for Arnold after all. If their proposed language doesn't actually mention Mr. Schwarzenegger by name, this would open up the presidency to around 12 million foreign born American citizens. Of course, given the fact that almost anybody can become an American citizen (in theory), the grand total tops in at around 6 billion. Imagine, some young boy or girl (but probably a boy) living in Toronto or Juarez could some day grow up to be the leader of the free world. If this amendment thing had been taken care of sooner, why, we could at this moment all be toasting our warm and happy memories of, say, the Kissinger administration.

Given the immense power and influence of the United States on the rest of the world, it seems only fair to allow anybody who manages to overcome the challenges of obtaining American citizenship to take a crack at running the whole schmeer. Surely our foreign policy would take on a different flavor if it were being guided by somebody who actually directly experienced it.

There would be other benefits too. Americans have a rather nasty reputation for distrusting foreigners. Allowing any one of them to have a chance to run for President would hopefully go a long way to dispelling that vile misconception. Of course, the first beneficiary of the proposed amendment would be a white, Austrian superman with some dubious friends, but the world will come around, surely.

Admittedly, there is a darker side to this issue. America has a grand tradition of actor-politicians, one of whom actually managed to become the President of the United States. We like politically involved performers (unless, you know, they happen to be liberals). Given the huge number of actors, directors, singers, and other entertainers who were born in this country (dozens of whom must be Republicans), the question must be asked: why are we recruiting from abroad?

Clearly, our glittery class of nouveau-riche cry-babies is grossly deficient in whatever it is that leads otherwise normal people to get into politics. What is it that American actors lack, when it comes to breaking into politics? Is it credibility? Ambition? Weltsmertz? Why can't Johnny Depp run?

Maybe, we've finally reached a point where there are just too many famous people. Go ahead, try to name all of the celebrities you can think of; odds are you'll pass out from thirst and a lack of mental stimulation before you even scratch the surface. Fame just isn't all that special anymore – not when reality television has created a world in which anybody can be famous. Hell, even ugly people are starting to become house-hold names.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is part of a special class of celebrities – he's a famous man from a time before the revolving door of fame started allowing just anybody to walk through it. He's been in so many movies, his visage has become a familiar and comforting image to the great American public. Can such a celebrity rise in today's America? One shudders to think that the answer to that question is a resounding no.

Celebrity is in crisis in America. But, take heart; you yourself may live to see a day in which a white, male, foreign-born citizen manages to ascend to the highest office in the land before we ever even managed to elect an American born woman or person of color. What heady days we live in.

-B. C. Silvia
-11/17/2004