Bush Upset Over Flawed Attorney Firings:
Whether you think that this whole thing is no big deal or a travesty of the justice department, we think that it’s time for some truth in headlines action. Surely, this should read, “Bush upset over the fact that the media is covering attorney firings.”

FDA Says Pills Can Cause ‘Sleep-Driving’:
If you find yourself prone to sleep-driving, we suggest that you call a phone-sex hotline, smoke a cigarette, and drink a steaming hot cup of coffee — all at once, while you drive. Also known to cause drivers to fall asleep at the wheel: A Prarie Home Companion.

Jolie Arrives in Vietnam to Adopt Boy:
Every hack and his mother has an Angelina Jolie-adoption joke. Really, it’s just too easy. I mean, she is an entire branch of UNICEF — we just hope she isn’t going to give these kids away in gift bags (boom boom!).

Viacom Sues YouTube Over Copyrights:

Some argue that the availability of Viacom shows on YouTube is good for Viacom. Because, you know, Comedy Central doesn’t air reruns of the Daily Show and South Park often enough. Frankly, we think that if anyone’s got a case against YouTube, it’s America’s Funniest Home Videos; YouTube has ripped off their whole “guy getting nailed in the junk” thing.