Wherein we review a book that was purchased (either new or used) for one American Dollar or less. Gosh, it’s been awhile since we’ve done this feature.

Anguished English: An Anthology of Accidental Assaults Upon Our Language
by Richard Lederer
Dell Books, 1989
177 Pages
ISBN: 0-440-20352-X Original price: $5.99
What I paid: $0.25
Where: Friends of the library sale

I know it’s not obvious from the half-baked garbage that I tend to post on a regular basis, but I really love the English language. Also, in spite of the fact that several people of my acquaintance have rather gently suggested over the years that I should stop trying to be funny, I do love a good joke. Thus, Anguished English was an inevitable purchase on my part.

I suppose that I’ve already given the game away here: I liked this book. It is, basically, a really long list of examples of humorous manglings of the English language. To wit:

- “I ate in a restaurant where the food was abdominal”

- “It’s as easy as falling off a piece of cake”

Of course, there’s more. Much more. Because Lederer didn’t simply copy and paste a random assortment of these things into one big, long bullet-pointed list; he also classified them by type, separated them into logical chapters, and provides a kind of condensed history of verbal and written gaffes through the ages.

That’s not to say that it’s a perfect book, by any means. The introductory notes, while informative, contain a few too many strained attempts at humor. And, although the book is a mere 177 pages, I don’t think many people would want to try to get through it in only one or two sittings. The premise wears a little thin, if you stick with it a little too long; better to consume the book in short bursts.

After awhile, I found myself unable to simply enjoy the various gaffes without trying to figure out what the speakers’ original intent might have been. This isn’t much of a problem when it comes to examples of missing punctuation, Spoonerisms, vague identifiers or misplaced modifiers — but after a page and a half of Samuel Goldwyn or Yogi Berra quotes, I kind of began to understand how they thought what they were saying would mean what they intended it to mean. And that’s not a good thing for one’s sanity.

Another thing that might warn potential readers away from Anguished English is its age. Originally published in 1987 (my copy is a later reprint), it’s no wonder a few of its quotes sound very familiar. The book has been thoroughly quoted and excerpted over the years, by everybody from late-night talk show hosts, to morning DJ’s, from the Readers’ Digest, to Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader. I can also recall when sheets of these quotes were faxed from office to office by the early ancestors of the world’s current crop of serial email-forwarders (and I’ve seen plenty of the electronic version, too).

While all of these minor gripes might be valid, they don’t diminish the entertainment value of Anguished English a whole hell of a lot. There’s still plenty of funny stuff in here that you’ll either never have heard before, or will have forgotten about. And, while I’m not entirely up to speed on the history of books that collect the absurd uses to which English is sometimes subjected, I couldn’t help but get the feeling that I was reading some kind of original source document for a thousand magazine fillers and morning radio spots, which was actually kind� of nice.

Of course, what it all comes down to is this: do you like reading excerpts of misused English? Do malapropisms make you laugh? And can you enjoy this kind of humor without despairing for the future literacy of the United States, or feeling smug about your own command of the English language? If yes, then you either already own or have read this book, probably. If not, then don’t bother.

Is a good value for 25 cents? Well, I liked it.